For all that come to this forum, this is the man that had a part in everything I created including this forum....
Clement Nelson - My best friend, all my life
Monday 8:52 am
Yesterday I lost my best friend who just happened to be my Dad. I have been calling this man almost every day for the last 34 years or so; ever since I lived in the mainland. For all of my life, he has been a constant source of inspiration and the closest person to me. He was always involved in new technologies, whether it was a 57 Chevy, Mustang or Camaro or it was music or video or computer technology. I remember him bringing home a Televideo computer with the awesome green computer screen long ago - before DOS. Our house also had one of the first VHS recorders - and the first IBM PC. He always had a knack of picking the correct technology despite my objections. He was an avid jazz music fan and collected a lot of recordings on reel to reel and vinyl. He went to Berklee school of music and he played guitar, and piano in later years.
Although we were not rich, I never longed for anything I really needed. He made sure I had lessons, my first flute, Rhodes, guitars, amplifiers, mics and more. Although he insisted that he couldn't improvise, he played great on the guitar. His forte was chord melody and he constantly practiced his vast collection of notated jazz solos. He always encouraged me and my friends to play music and allowed us access to all of his instruments.
He had a way of listening to me and making valid suggestions after much thought. I relied on his knowledge to help me improve my applications I wrote and the music I wrote as well as my life. He loved knowing what performers I was playing with and he listened as I talked about the many gigs I did before and after the events.
I loved to call him in the mornings and afternoons just to talk about recent events and his other passion.... sports. This man played baseball, basketball, bowling, golf and more. All the things I am terrible at.... In later years, he took great delight in teaching every grand kid golf - which was one of his favorite sports to watch and play. He taught all of them golf hoping to get one child that would grow to love the sport. I am proud to say that my son became the one that would love to play the game on his own. I learned to love the game much later but I will miss telling him about my (terrible) golf game and his many tips to help me play better.
He was very proud of all of his grand kids, like my daughter, and I am also glad to say that they really got to know how amazing he was. All of the grand kids got to know and love this man as much as I did.
When he passed away, his family was by his side and I held him as he took his last breath. I got to tell him how much he was loved which is more that I can explain.
I will miss him so much...
Sounds like a great guy, sorry for your loss. There's nothing anyone can say that will make you feel any better, but we're here for you (as you've been here for us) just the same. It's good that he was able to be with family at the end. Best way to go if you ask me.
So sad to hear Aron... My best to you, cherish the memories you have.
MC
As one gets older, one tends to check the obits in the paper every day. Partly, it's to make sure that there aren't any funerals you need to plan on attending - after all, you get to know a LOT of people the longer you live - but also, they tell wonderful moving tales of lives well-lived, of people deserving of being remembered always. Sometimes because of great things they might have accomplished, but just as often mundane minor-stature lives that were full of joy, adventure, love, devotion, with nothing lacking. You can read obits of people you have absolutely no connection to whatsoever, but after reading about their life, you kind of miss them and wish you had gotten to know them, bought 'em a beer or coffee, taken in a ball-game with them, or whatever.
A lovely tribute to an obviously lovely man, Aron. Somebody I know you're going to miss a whole lot for a long long time. Not because you're a morose person - far from it - but because I suspect there won't be a single day that goes by where you won't be thinking at some point "Oh, dad will absolutely get a kick out of this". In a few weeks, it's coming up on 35 years since my own father passed away, and I still miss him, so I expect you'll miss your own dad for a long time to come, too.
My condolences to yourself, and your family, and I suspect to a lot of folks who were his friend. He sounds like he would have had many. He obviously raised you right. Your sense of commitment to this place is a testament to his values. May healing come swiftly.
so sorry for your loss man, your dad sounds like a great guy...
ive lost both my parents now, but i still have great fond memories. as you will too.
peace.
My condolences Aron. And thanks for sharing such a great tribute.
Just a big and strong hug.
Alessandro
Sorry for your loss Aron
Aron, I am sorry to hear the news and loss of your best friend and Father, It sounds like you had a nice childhood and upbringing and a very close bond with your Father all through your life.
Those memories are priceless.
My thoughts are with you and your family Aron.
Sounds like the kind of man all of us would have proud to know.
Qualities I'm certain you inherited Aron.
Now I don't know you personally but I feel like I do in a small way.
It's a testament to your father legacy that most of us forumites feel like we have made many friends from around the whole world in a small way too.
God speed.
sorry for your loss Aron.. A big hug from Italy...
I am sorry for your loss, I can do no more than hope that one day my sons will fill the same for me as you feel for your dad.
Sorry for your loss Aaron. I can't imagine what it will feel like when one or both of my parents goes. I guess that's a good thing since it means he/she was a positive thing in your life and caused you more happiness than sadness.
Sorry for your loss Aron. Just let me know if there is anything I can do. He is somewhere always with you bro.
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My condolences to you and your family. Both my parents are gone. You have some awesome memories to look back on. Often, something will occur, with grandkids, dog, whatever...and I find my self thinking 'Dad would have laughed about...' Peace to you in this time.
My deepest sympathies Aron. From your writings, I understand better why you are like you are. He did well
That's very sad news. Your dad sounds like a really cool guy. I can see why you miss him.
My deepest sympathies, Aron. I lost my father 18 years ago - I know how you're feeling at the moment.
Very sad news. I'm sorry for your loss.
Quote from: aron on March 06, 2018, 12:17:37 PM
When he passed away, his family was by his side and I held him as he took his last breath.
Be glad that you were there for him as he clearly was for you, and let those memories be a blessing.
SD
Lost my Pops in 2015.
From your description, sounds like your old man was cut from the same cloth as mine.
Hopefully, they'll run into each other in the Great Beyond. I'm sure they'll get along famously.
My deepest condolences on you loss.
Let me add to the chorus. It's truly a sobering thing to lose your parents. Well, it was for me.
It's been over twenty five years since my dad died. I still "see" him sometimes out of the corner of my eye, or more lately he'll appear in my dreams, and what he "says" is exactly as I remembered him. I find I understand him better now after my brain has sifted through the memories over the years. I'm closer to what I remember of him than I was when he was alive. I still regret that didn't happen while he was alive.
You may have had more of the good interactions with your father while he was alive. That's very good. Hold them close. You'll still be remembering them decades later.
But it hurts now. My sympathies to you.
Sorry to hear about your loss. Both of my parents are gone and it is unpleasant and disruptive for a while but he would be proud of the forum you have created and the following you now have.
Sorry for your loss, Aron... :'(
I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Both of my parents are gone, so I can relate to how you feel. My sincere condolences.
All the best, Jack
My thoughts are with you, Aron.
My Dad's 86th birthday was yesterday, and I made sure to call him.
> I suspect there won't be a single day that goes by where you won't be thinking at some point "Oh, dad will absolutely get a kick out of this".
This. My email-buddy died in a crash 16 months back. About every day I note something that "Jared would love this", engines, computers, old songs; and miss him deeply.
So sorry to hear your news, Aron. Your dad sounds like a wonderful guy, and the memories will last forever. Love and peace from London.
Aron, I'm so sorry for your loss. I like st my dad 9 years ago and that was the hardest loss I've faced so I can empathize with you.
I also, like a lot of the guys that have been through this, still "see" my dad and wish I could share things that are happening currently with him.
I wish that words would truly help, but at least know you're not alone in this type of pain.
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I am so sorry Aron. I lost my Dad almost four years ago, and, sort of like what RG said, he seems to have taken up residence on my shoulder. And, yes--besides all the things you wish he could see, there are all the things you wish you could ask him, almost every day. So I'm never quite over it, but I'm in equilibrium, and his place in my life is secure. That takes time, though, and I know you must be hurting while you sort it out. Your description of him is loving and lovely, and really brought a special person out. It's not hard to see where you come from.
Quote from: aron on March 06, 2018, 12:17:37 PM
When he passed away, his family was by his side and I held him as he took his last breath. I got to tell him how much he was loved which is more that I can explain.
Maybe the greatest last moments for him..
My sincere condolences, Aron.. :icon_cry:
sad to hear, Aron. condolences to you and your family.
In a way, being surrounded by friends and family is probably the best way to go. Something to be proud of.
You just described my dad and my relationship with him. He sounded like a great guy to be around.
I'm sorry. Be strong, friend.
I am so very sorry for your loss Aron.
I'm sure he's very proud of you for the community of really great people that you created/curate and that there are so many people that even though most of us have never met you in person, we feel genuine emotion for your loss.
My condolences Aron. :icon_cry:
I went thru this with both of parents in the last 7 years. My dad was gone just like that from a heart attack Nov 2011 and I had to move my mother here to Vegas, and empty out their house by myself. That was like four days of a personal hell, hauling up all this junk from the basement to the huge dumpster I had to rent. My dad was still working from home at 75 years old and was like an information hoarder with boxes and boxes of stuff that was basically not worth anything.
A few years after that, my mother was bed ridden for 18 months after spending 100 days in a behavioral hospital where she was locked up like she was in a maximum security prison and I couldn't even talk to her. After they got nowhere with her like I told them via email a few days into that chapter, the doctors finally said "call the son" and that allowed us to get guardianship. She ate only a few spoonfuls of food every day and somehow lived like that for much much longer than anyone ever expected she would. Hard to watch her waste away and was kinda depressing. So a few weeks before she passed away on Sept 1, 2016 I got shingles in my eye, and that caused a bunch of health problems due to complications from anti-viral meds, etc and then after all that crap I got a cataract due to the aftereffects of the shingles which had to be fixed last November. It's not fun being basically blind in one eye and it really screws with anything you want to do up close, like making DIY stuff for example.
Anyway, I hope that you will fare better than I did thru this process of parents passing away.
While not wishing to detract from the dignity or sombreness of this period, sometimes reflecting on lost parents gives moments of levity, that make one shake their head and smille at the quirks of loved ones. Quirks that made you appreciate them for their uniqueness as people.
My late father-in-law was a bit of a hoarder, moreso after my mother-in-law passed away and there was no one to wag a finger and say "Victor, you don't need that". He had the house to himself and used every square inch of it. After he passed away, and we were cleaning out the house, we came upon many things that we never knew existed. One was a wallet in his strongbox that he kept in his closet. The wallet had one of each denomination of bills, from $1 to $100, crisp and new. I guess he considered it his emergency fund. But also in the wallet was a picture of Elizabeth Taylor, circa 1960, when she was a hot babe. To this day, we don't know if the picture was in there because he had a secret thing for Liz Taylor, or because it came with the wallet (as many such items did in those days) and he simply never threw anything out!
But the best was a small opaque ointment container we stumbled on that we were initially apprehensive about touching, let alone opening. On the lid was scrawled "old penis". When we finally worked up the courage to give it a shake, we learned that what he thought he had written was "old pennies"; English not being his first language. What gave us pause for thought was the fact that, well, he never threw anything out. :icon_lol:
Quote from: Mark Hammer on March 07, 2018, 01:00:09 PM
But the best was a small opaque ointment container we stumbled on that we were initially apprehensive about touching, let alone opening. On the lid was scrawled "old penis". When we finally worked up the courage to give it a shake, we learned that what he thought he had written was "old pennies"; English not being his first language.
:icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol:
Sorry to hear of your loss, Aron. He sounds like a great guy, especially getting you into computing in the golden age!
My father passed over 23 years ago.
Yes....the loss hurt until I stepped back and took a look at myself.
I am truly made up of a mixture of both of my parents.
I started to realize...things that I do instinctively...are the way my father did things.
I found that my father is part of me so, in a way, he is not really gone.
My thoughts go out to you in this trying time.
So very sorry for your loss, Aron.
My condolences, Aron.
Your old man seems the kind of person I would want around. I was deeply touched by the fact that he was a builder - he built people, and was very good at that! You, your siblings, and all his grandchildren are explendid people and he played a big part in their formation.
You are very fortunate to have loved and been loved by someone like him.
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Some people don't have that figure in their life to reflect. Your dad sounds like a fantastic man, father and friend. My heart feels for you. He'll strongly remain with you. I'm sure that's what any father would want out of the experience. And from the short insight you've shared, it's a beautiful presence. One you can't help but to celebrate and remorse at once.
My condolences, Aron.
I'm very sorry to hear this, Aron.
You've created and hosted a community at DIYSB for a long time and that's not an easy thing to do, and I'm sure there's a lot of him in your ability to do that.
Sorry for your loss.
Sincere condoleances, keep the faith
Sorry to hear about your loss, Aron.
My sincere condolences to you and your family.
mac