The Perfect Distortion Box would ...

[WGTP]

...   :?:

[Somicide]

about three different gain knobs, that way you can change the distortion from mild, to waaaay way up there.

[RDV]

Make my fat 40 year old ass a rock star, & sound like this.

http://sonicdeli.com/ThunderTweakWeb/audio/TopFuel.mp3

RDV

[WGTP]

I guess we could all use that.

If you haven't listened to Bad Company's first 4, you should.  Might help.

   :shock:  :twisted:

[Lonestarjohnny]

I can make ya sound that a way Ricky Don, but what ya gonna do with it if ya had some ? and ya don't need no pedal ! :shock:

[black mariah]

The perfect distortion box would give me perfect Floor, Slayer, and Graves at Sea tones. :twisted:

And be free, with hookers and blackjack.

On second thought, forget the pedal...

[RDV]

I can make ya sound that a way Ricky Don, but what ya gonna do with it if ya had some ? and ya don't need no pedal ! :shock:

You can build an amp like that?

RDV

[Mark Hammer]

1) ALWAYS surprise me and provide some measure of unpredictability.

2) Destroy my creativity by sucking me in to using it.

3) Require more knobs than is practical.

[Ge_Whiz]

Have only three knobs, labelled respectively "Aaah" to "Yaargh", "Oooh" to "Eeesh" and "Shhh" to "Owww".

[jimbob]

Have 2 knobs..dist and tone..im easy to please..

[keko]

..never need a stomp switch. If it's THAT perfect, I wouldn't turn it off...that's a lot to say, considering I'm an pedal-guy.

[sir_modulus]

Jimbob: build a BMP without volume control!
Somicide: put a ten turn 1 meg pot on a Dist+
MarkHammer: build tim's T.M.K.

[Lonestarjohnny]

WG, I thought about it all day and I think if it made me sound like Mr. Betts and would pack my rig in and out for me without complaining and asking for more money everytime, Now That Would Be THE PEDAL !
JD

[brett]

Pay attention to what scales I'm playing and block "clangers".
Or have the warmth of a TS, the power of an Axis, the gain of a Blackfire, the clipping of an Odie, the overtones of a WASP or Whiskerbiscuit, .... :?

[travissk]

Have only three knobs, labelled respectively "Aaah" to "Yaargh", "Oooh" to "Eeesh" and "Shhh" to "Owww".

Sounds like something DOD would have made around 5 years ago... except your knob names actually make sense  

[Alpha579]

A pedal that gave you the warmth and screaming ability of a Marshall stack, then at the flip of a switch, go to a rich fender DR sound...And have a really wide ranging gain control, to go from mild OD to screaming heavy rock...

[Marcos - Munky]

A distortion with LOTS of gain (I really mean LOTS  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted: ), but without any signal of noise or hiss.

[Chris Goodson]

Sounds like something DOD would have made around 5 years ago... except your knob names actually make sense

I saw a DOD one time that said- loud butt face on it for the control names.

[WGTP]

Next Question:  Which comes closest for you?

I find the answer changes based on the most recent build, which is also related to my increasing skills at tweaking them to my taste.  My current fav is the Vulcan with a notch filter of - 4db around 1.2k, but next week  

Forgot, I like a swirl to the sound, sort of like flanging, but barely audible and like Mark said, unpredictablility, but I still like it everyday.

Sustain, sweetness, crunch, chunck, smooth, quiet, reliable, low battery use, cool box, cheap, babe magnet, etc.   :twisted:

[travissk]

Sounds like something DOD would have made around 5 years ago... except your knob names actually make sense

I saw a DOD one time that said- loud butt face on it for the control names.

Yep, for a while DOD decided to get 'trendy' with the names on their knobs. For instance, the Ice Box chorus had names like "shiver / freeze / ice / cold". You figure they're probably rate/tone/depth/volume in some order, but it doesn't make too much sense. I have a Juice Box (excellent pedal) with the labels Pulp, Tang, Squeeze, and Sweet I think. That pedal you saw is yet another example (grunge distortion maybe?).

On the other hand, I actually really like Ge_Whiz's knob names